Your life but in 7 whole bits
//
Oh no is the first thought that comes to mind when you hear the name Hottie Hookups. Is this game going to be a game endorsed by Paris Hilton that involves you playing the role of a hottie with the principal objective being to achieve pseudo stardom by spreading your legs and making sex-tapes? Well don’t worry, H.H. is not about that even though that game sounds like a David Firth creation in the pipeline. However, I digress….
Popularity: 6% [?]
I will never hire deaf composer again, no matter how much he will pay us!
Above is a quote from the ‘iFun4all’ press release by the games creators, Laszlo Kovács & Fülöp Mészáros. This review will be full of them, so if you like the humour in the quotes you will fall in love with the game.
Review Start Motherf**kers.
You see the word defense in the title, your first thought is, o no, not another tower defense game for the iPhone. I already have Fieldrunners, why would I need another. Well that is where you are wrong as Crap of Defense is not a tower defense game, so like many misconceptions in life, you will realise you are wrong, cry a bit, grovel to the lady who you thought was pregnant as she has a bit around the edge and then buy this absolute peach of a game.
Popularity: 5% [?]
When I first got wind of this game I was giddy like a Yoshi in a Piranha Plant factory. Cooperative 2D Mario platforming. Brilliant. Oh to my dismay as the reviews flooded in slating the failings of the game’s pinball mechanics. Assuming it to be a poor investment the game was never bought. However! Low and behold an opportunity arrived to bang Mario in one sitting and find out for myself if this game play decision nails the coffin on this addition to the franchise. So I gave it a chance to woo me with my fingers crossed it wouldn’t let me down.
[More]
Popularity: 1% [?]
Max had a marker pen, yes he did, and it was bloody magic.
Anyone who listens to the podcast regularly will know I’ve been crying out for a level basher; a break of sorts from all these open world games. MATMM comprises of exactly that with 18 levels of pure joy. You take control of both Max and his pen (ed: marker spanjj, it’s a marker), negotiating platform elements with Max and solving puzzles with his pen. In order to pass certain parts of the level, you draw your the tools you need. When you realise the potential of the marker the game becomes brilliant.
[More]
Popularity: 1% [?]
There are many games that can be called a timesink, a term that can be defined as follows.
“a game that you can play for hours and not realise the time”
Games that I am aware of the fall into this category are Infamous (hours go by running around zapping pedestrians), Borderlands, Mass Effect (o, it’s night time outside), Theme Park (I have no time for friends,i have to get rid of the rats in the rollercoaster); I think you get the picture.
Popularity: 23% [?]
Firefly night is one of those charming games that is so simple that you find yourself instantly engrossed in it. I hope saying that it is simple is not offensive to Frozen Giant as the amount of time that goes into creating these games is huge.
There are fireflies on your screen that you have to touch and drag into the corresponding pots on the bottom of the screen and on contact they make a rather distinguishable noise. Each of the 40 levels has a set time limit, so the feel of urgency is present in getting your fireflies into their pots. Easy Non.
The game beings with a low count of fireflies that need to be put in the pots but as the levels increase, there are multiple colours of fireflies with each having a different number that you have to get into the pot. This simple looking game then takes a turn for the nasty as you are frantically trying to drag the fireflies correctly. A moment of possible frenzy occurs when you constantly keep getting the wrong firefly as you panic at the time limit. however grabbing the wrong firefly is not something the game has done wrong.
The touch based actions are perfect as through thorough testing, it was impossible to grab multiple fireflies with one touch. Also, instead of upping the ante so much by having too many fireflies on the screen, the game mechanics and level variation are clever enough to give you the correct firefly that you are aiming for.
The game is aimed towards those who have a small amount of time on their hands and the save feature really allows you to pop in and out of the game when you train journey is over.
Add to the strong gameplay mechanics the trusty Open Feint engine then you have a game that lasts as you try to collect the achievements.
59p/99c is a bargain and Firefly Night is a hidden gem in the ever growing iPhone App market.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Games Press is very handy sometimes. News can be bland and every other site picks it up and outputs it faster than a cake being thrown at Katie Price, but sometimes there is a diamond in the rough. In this instance, the diamond was that Triangle Studios were giving away Heron: Steam Machine free for one weekend only. After tweeting, facebooking and talking(???) this out to the world, the game was on my phone ready for some investigative thinking.
[More]
Popularity: 12% [?]
“Heads will roll!” – (Reviewed on The 7 Bit Audiocast Episode 4: Gamers Have Souls)
Apocalyptos is the latest release from Sudden Games and its all about the disembodied heads. We back track to the days of pyramids and human sacrifice (*sigh*, I miss those days) and the gods are in for a treat because people are being beheaded by the dozen. The heads are flying all over the place and its your job to bounce ‘em and spike ‘em in the series of mini games the game comprises of. That’s 40 OpenFeint enabled games with three difficulties for each… well, sort of.
[More]
Popularity: 6% [?]
Ratchet & Clank: Tool of Destruction can now be purchased in a shiny silver box which means it is a platinum edition and carries the price tag of £19.99 (sterling, pip pip pop pop). With the latest installment (A Crack In Time) available in shops and such, lets look at its predecessor and whether its still worth a good banging.
[More]
Popularity: 6% [?]
Apologies for my absence last week gang (it’s OK, I know none of you really noticed, but don’t we all just want to be loved?), but I’m back now, and before I vanish into the hazy sleeplessness of a 48 hour Mass Effect 2 binge I found the time to share some thoughts on a totally different game.
[More]
Popularity: 6% [?]
Whilst sitting on a sofa after a rather heavy evening, one would think that you should rest those weary grey cells and watch mind numbing tv. Instead, taking on the murders in Little Riddle seemed more enticing, however much it would cause us to curse the events of the night before.
[More]
Popularity: 27% [?]
Polarbit’s ‘Fuzzies’ is essentially Lemmings for the iPhone so before calling fowl it is worth noting the utterly disappointing ‘Lemmings Online’ currently available on the iTunes Store. This attempted remake did not meet our Lemming needs so Fuzzies makes a welcome addition to the fray. [More]
Popularity: 2% [?]
Gerbil, ah, generally a child’s first pet, so how does Pencil Games pay tribute to these small furry wonders? By sticking a bomb under their arse. Okay, don’t go calling PETA just yet, its all in the name of puzzling (plus its a game, and they will laugh down the phone at you, lets all avoid that embarrassment shall we?)!
Popularity: 6% [?]
The first thing you’ll notice about Candy Cane’s Fuzzle is it’s extreme lack of fuzzyness. It is about as hairy as a snake. I can only conclude that the name inherits from a combination of the words fun and puzzle and it is indeed a fun, puzzle game. Fuzzle is a turn based game that requires the player to move balls around the screen in order to line up five or more balls of the same colour and make them disappear. The aim of the game is to survive as long as possible before the screen is completely covered in balls. [More]
Popularity: 3% [?]
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Never taking heed of numerical convention I approached this game not long after finishing Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. If anything should be taken from this instalment it is how well tuned Naughty Dog’s sequel is. However looking at the original as an isolated product it is still worth picking up. For those unfamiliar with the series you play as Nathan Drake, a cheeky treasure hunter of sorts, in a third person shooter/platformer reminiscent of the Indiana Jones franchise. [More]
Popularity: 6% [?]
You may or may not be familiar with Peggle and Bejewled. These internet indie behemoths have been ripping it up for a few years now across the tubes.
Plants vs Zombies is perhaps the piece de la resistance of Popcap Games, the progenitor of those previously mentioned modern classics.
Popularity: 19% [?]
Ah, to be a young ‘un again. Headbangers ball was good, showing Danzig, Sepultura and ‘Tallica, makes me a little moist remembering that. Yes I was a metal kid and at heart, I still am. So when a game all about metal comes along, it is time to rejoice. Unfortunately, timing was not on it’s side and it got list a little in the pre Christmas shuffle. So post Christmas it’s time to right these wrongs.
Popularity: 6% [?]
January 14, 2010 • Reviews, Uncategorized • Comments
OK now I’m sure some of you will see the game and feel a rush of nostalgia but not me I’m afraid. I’ve played my fair share of point and clicks, all the Monkey Islands, all the Indiana Jones, Loom… but I never happened upon this one. So alas I can’t really review it for how true it is to the original, however it is the first point and click iPhone game I’ve played and I want to see how this genre transfers.
Popularity: 8% [?]
The history of the recent Ghostbusters was not a walk in Central Park for anyone concerned. Starting off as a project back in 2006, Ghostbusters was an idea in the eye of development company Zootfly who sadly had forgotten to participate in a key bit of licensing. They couldn’t get were not bothered did not have Sonys approval. Whooops.
Sony then of course thought to themselves, hmmmm, this game seems to be getting a lot of positivity from the internet crowds, so they met with Sierra and Terminal Reality, a new developer, about the possibility of creating a game. Then after a year of ums and arrs about whether the game was still to be cancelled, at CES 2009, Sony confirmed that the game was still on their release schedule. So with a bit of history in a nutshell, the PS3 and 360 versions were born, well just about.
Popularity: 14% [?]
So let us put this in perspective. There are some games that you can’t play on your own so when it comes to reviewing Buzz, it should be reviewed within the context for which it was made. So with this in mind, what better way to test it than to get a few friends in, some beers (some wine, some spirits and some cider) and give it a good ole testing. You will see why that Buzz became such a hard to find gift Christmas Past and situations resembling Arnie in Jingle all the Way occured.
Popularity: 9% [?]
If you are one of the poor souls who has either never perused Steam’s indie catalogues, or just had the misfortune of missing this particular gem when it was released in 2008, allow me to introduce the all singing, all dancing king of PC rhythm games (it may be a small category, but Monaco is a small country, and I bet we’d all like to be King of Monaco).
Popularity: 17% [?]
Thats right folks, we only had to reach the end of a decade before I finally completed Dead Space. The deed is done, the witch is dead and I’ll tell you what she did not go down easy. The survival horror genre has come a long way in the last ten years and in terms of the fear factor this game really hits the peak.
Popularity: 13% [?]
Being aged 13 to me, reminds me of two things. The first, Alice in Chains, amazing band – probably in my top 10 of all time. The second was Blood Bowl. For those who have no idea what the hell I am talking about, Blood Bowl is an American Football spin off from Warhammer, the table top strategy game by Games Workshop. In short its a board game where you face off teams of Orcs, Dwarfs and all other kinds of creatures in a very violent interpretation of the NFL. But what made the game more fun, was that post match, you would engage in a weird hybrid of football manager and Dungeons & Dragons. You could level up players, gaining new abilities or mutations, attract star players or buy equipment such as steam rollers and chainsaws for your players to use in the next match. This then caused a group of friends to have leagues and tournaments over the holidays. Some kids had Subbuteo, we had Blood Bowl.
So, what happens when an once loved table top strategy game becomes a video game?
Popularity: 9% [?]
It is around midnight on boxing day and I am lying on the floor in my makeshift bedroom at my parents house. Like the majority of the world I am regretting all of the food and drink I have forced my body to digest over the past two to three days. iPhone in hand it’s time to review a game that I have been meaning to review for a while. What better time to play a game that requires zero intelligence, much like the typical Christmas television schedule.
A.D.D is a game that has become famous for the amount of time it took apple to actually approve it to be on the app store. Rumours for six months to a year floated around the Internet with no report actually giving an answer written in stone. Whilst writing this I contacted IUGO to see if they could answer this riddle.
Popularity: 20% [?]
Clocking in at around 2 hours game time, the Dragon Age DLC Warden’s Keep seems to offer decent value at 560 Microsoft points. Looking at my Xbox friends list, it seems others agree. I would compare it to one of the many base of operation DLCs available in Oblivion. The idea is to clean out a castle of nasties earning yourself a few goodies exclusive to the download and in the process gaining a nice little homestead (and don’t forgot a total of 50 extra gamerscore on the Xbox or 2 more trophies).
Popularity: 9% [?]
Like exercise... but virtual... Phew!
Remember when you first saw Mirror’s Edge and thought “that looks amazing”? Yeah I do, I also remembered when I first played Mirror’s Edge and thought “I feel sick”, then “why do I feel cheated by this game” and finally “yes I would like to trade this for store credit please”. So bottle up those bad memories for another day. Canabalt is here to make it all better.
Popularity: 13% [?]
Best in-game moustache 2009? We think so!
Ah, a nice relaxing Sunday. Sit back with a cup of tea on the sofa and have a little bit of gaming. It would almost seem criminal to frag some teabaggers online, no matter how much they deserve it, no, a Sunday requires a more relaxing approach. Looks like its a good time to grab the girlfriend and have us a little bit of multiplayer puzzling on episode 1 of Blue Toad Murder Files.
Popularity: 9% [?]
Thats enough karate chopping for my arm, I’m bloomin’ knackered!
So, Karate Monkey. Plot = Monkey learns Karate. Why not. 59p for a nice simple game. You either chop up, down, left or right. Now to be honest I actually thought there was a bit more to this game but that was human error on my part. I enter the main menu and I see two options: ‘Training’ or ‘Black Belt Challenge’. Well I don’t know about you but I’ve never been one for the training mode, I prefer to jump right in.
Popularity: 9% [?]
