7 Bit Arcade

I will never hire deaf composer again, no matter how much he will pay us!

Above is a quote from the ‘iFun4all’ press release by the games creators, Laszlo Kovács & Fülöp Mészáros. This review will be full of them, so if you like the humour in the quotes you will fall in love with the game.

Review Start Motherf**kers.

You see the word defense in the title, your first thought is, o no, not another tower defense game for the iPhone. I already have Fieldrunners, why would I need another. Well that is where you are wrong as Crap of Defense is not a tower defense game, so like many misconceptions in life, you will realise you are wrong, cry a bit, grovel to the lady who you thought was pregnant as she has a bit around the edge and then buy this absolute peach of a game.

So what do I like the most about Crap of Defense? Is it the fact that they have a Class C swear word in the title. Is it the music that plays whilst the game loads, or is it the cut out graphic style? In a sentence, it’s all of it. For £1.19 this game has kept me coming back for more and I will now tell you why.

C**p (damn censorship) of Defense puts you in the role of a tank operator who has to defend his line against onward floods of enemies. Tower Defense inspired the game engine is, but COD reversed the premise. To repel enemies you have to drag your finger to the area on the playing field that you wish your load to land. The longer you hold down, the more powerful the megaton charge will be, hence the more enemies you will wipe out. This holding down for a more powerful charge can be the key to passing a level or not as the amount of enemies on screen can be ridiculous.

With iPhone devices it is much easier. You can buy them very cheaply from local thieves, especially in summer when there are a lot of rich American tourists in Hungary

There are multiple types of enemies who are out to make your life miserable ranging from fast movers to endurance taking soldiers. thse add a bit of variation to the enemies but at the end of the day, the aim is still to take them all out. AS the game progresses, time limits are whacked onto the levesl, so yo uhave to protect your base for a certain amount of time from these enemies. If the set number of enemies get throgh, then you fail your mission. The premise is simple, which is where the addictive quality lies.

“We believe we are opening new chapter in gaming history”, comments Laszlo just a moments before submitting game to the App Store on a rented computer.

Simplicity is key to iPhone games, when a game developer puts too much on the HUD or thinks that to ‘make it’ on the platform they have to push boundaries, they don’t. But simplicity has to have longevity tacked on to it for a game to be any way buying. A simple game with one level is not worth money at all. COD has longevity as it provides three difficulty levels and a good old survival mode that puts you against endless amounts of soldiers.

Why do developers think using every bit of iphones hardware is necessary to create a good game. Shake this to score etc. What developers should focus on is the core game and to make a strong, unique game. Strong game engine, great music, sense of humour that shows through the games style and language (‘teh tank’) means that I am going to have to whack a full marks on this game.

Competition

Join our facebook!

We have a crap copy of ‘Crap of Defence’ to give away as it goes, to have a chance with winning, riddle me this. What number am I currently thinking of, it is between 1 & 1000. Closest wins the game. Comments on this post or Twitter posts with tag #7bitnumber are entered into contest.

For boring terms and conditions click here:

Popularity: 6% [?]