Usually I sit around in clothes, this however changes when I want to sit and play a game for the first time. It is not that I want to get up close and personal with the game and rub it on my ****, it’s that it is like this when I feel the most comfortable.
Just like Jamie Oliver called himself the Naked Chef, I am the Naked Gamer. It is a metaphor for the fact that I am being open and welcoming to any game. It is also to do with the fact that I am nude. But anyways,
I Like Pie
Assasins Creed 2 is the sequel (no shit Sherlock) to the hugely successful Assassins Creed. After turning the game on for the first time, I was greeted with an absolutely amazing loading screen or the PS3 install screen. I thought this would have gone away by now but no, there it was. The urgency in which to actually get into the game was lessened by this occurrence, but the prospect of jumping from rooftop to rooftop pulled me in more. This brings me to my first qualm with the game.
After punching my way through Vieri de Pazzi’s men by constantly hitting the square button on my PS3 pad , no intelligence required, and then slowly but surely looting each of the fallen men who squirm like they have a bowel infection, I wanted to get climbing.
Free Running
Games that involve free running have been coming out thick and fast over recent times, it’s like the new thing, just like adopting children. Crackdown is still my favourite game that allows the free running capability, but since then there have been various games that have have incorporated the idea in many ways.
FREE RUN ULTRA!!!
The official free running game, I can’t remember its official name, but I bet it was FREE RUN ULTRA or something like that was rubbish, it was painful on the eyes and made you wish you were lying on a pile of needles infected with the dreams of those wankers who made the army men games. Moving on. Prototype changed the idea of free running and allowed Alex Mercer to just seriously fuck things up whilst having a whale of a time running out walls and that in NYC, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Mirrors Edge is the stand out free running game as it redefined the genre, etc etc I have gone off on a tangent, the point I am meant to come to is how Assassins Creed 2 compares to Uncharted 2 in the jumping and climbing stakes. AC2 (i can shorten the games name, we are friends you see) has a glitch that I found on the first play, I was trying to run and jump at speed around a building, and managed to run straight off a building and fall amazingly to my doom. Rant Begin, but then Rant was changed.
SPLAT
Generic Lab Assistant
It was at this point that I paused the game and decided to go for a free run myself and realised that it is not as easy as AC2 makes it seem, which then in turn brought me back to reconsider my views on the free running aspect of the game. There needs to be a learning curve to anything otherwise everybody would be able to do everything, take for example quantum physics. If anybody could walk into a lab and be like, “that atom goes there, that nucleus should look like that” before finishing up by pulling the nearest female lab member, then status and experience would be nothing. So AC2 is not forgiving otherwise, it would make it too easy and take away any sort of skill that the negotiating the roofs of the various cities requires. On looking back, it also makes me think that maybe the climbing in Uncharted was too easy. Fair enough, you want the user to pick up and play, but pick up and play is different to being able to climb and jump huge chasms after playing for 5 minutes.
Final First Impressions
The Guards. How do they all know me, its not like i’ve shaken hands with all the fucking guards and then given them a Dirty Sanchez to annoy them. Smell my finger now chase me, chaaaaase me.
It looks beautiful, the visuals and scale of the city so far is just incredible. I can still remember when draw distance used to get applauded when it was hidden behind trees in Gran Turismo. The amount of detail that has gone into each building is just a representation of how much money is now behind the video game industry.
I do believe that after this opening 30 minutes, that I will grow to enjoy AC2 as the first game had me gripped all the way until the final cut scene where he finally realised that he was on earth all alone and that the apes had taken over.
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