Your life but in 7 whole bits
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You can’t get something for nothing. Or can you?
The App Store hosts a whole range of freebie games but the question is: are they all toss or are there any secret bargains amongst the bunch? In this two part article I’ll take the top ten free games (as of 08.03.10) and give them a run for their lack of money. Oh, and a toss-o-meter out of cabers only seems appropriate too.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Oh no is the first thought that comes to mind when you hear the name Hottie Hookups. Is this game going to be a game endorsed by Paris Hilton that involves you playing the role of a hottie with the principal objective being to achieve pseudo stardom by spreading your legs and making sex-tapes? Well don’t worry, H.H. is not about that even though that game sounds like a David Firth creation in the pipeline. However, I digress….
Popularity: 6% [?]
I will never hire deaf composer again, no matter how much he will pay us!
Above is a quote from the ‘iFun4all’ press release by the games creators, Laszlo Kovács & Fülöp Mészáros. This review will be full of them, so if you like the humour in the quotes you will fall in love with the game.
Review Start Motherf**kers.
You see the word defense in the title, your first thought is, o no, not another tower defense game for the iPhone. I already have Fieldrunners, why would I need another. Well that is where you are wrong as Crap of Defense is not a tower defense game, so like many misconceptions in life, you will realise you are wrong, cry a bit, grovel to the lady who you thought was pregnant as she has a bit around the edge and then buy this absolute peach of a game.
Popularity: 5% [?]
When I first got wind of this game I was giddy like a Yoshi in a Piranha Plant factory. Cooperative 2D Mario platforming. Brilliant. Oh to my dismay as the reviews flooded in slating the failings of the game’s pinball mechanics. Assuming it to be a poor investment the game was never bought. However! Low and behold an opportunity arrived to bang Mario in one sitting and find out for myself if this game play decision nails the coffin on this addition to the franchise. So I gave it a chance to woo me with my fingers crossed it wouldn’t let me down.
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..is like the death of a friend.
So there you are….It’s 10 minutes past midnight, some fox is getting raped outside and your sitting in front of your beloved PS3 just 7000 XP points away from “prestige-ing” on COD MW:2.
You’ve waited weeks for this moment and just as you are blitzing the last few seconds of Terminal…..*beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeep* The little known, “Yellow Light Of Doom” (or YLOD for short) and your PS3 says it’s last goodbye with a whimpering succession of beeps. Basically the YLOD indicates a major hardware problem, causing the system to refuse booting up until the issue is fixed.
Popularity: 35% [?]
Max had a marker pen, yes he did, and it was bloody magic.
Anyone who listens to the podcast regularly will know I’ve been crying out for a level basher; a break of sorts from all these open world games. MATMM comprises of exactly that with 18 levels of pure joy. You take control of both Max and his pen (ed: marker spanjj, it’s a marker), negotiating platform elements with Max and solving puzzles with his pen. In order to pass certain parts of the level, you draw your the tools you need. When you realise the potential of the marker the game becomes brilliant.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Hey gang, I’m back to conclude the epic list of iconic music gifted to the world by video games. Last time I counted down from 10 to 6, and probably pissed off some people with a few left-field choices. Don’t worry though, the top 5 should leave everyone feeling warm and cosy inside, and is probably quite predictable.
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We are giving away a copy of ‘Heavy Rain’ the murder opus that is a benchmark for thriller games. To enter, do one of the following:
Twitter
Tweet the following:
@7bitarcade I want to win heavy rain, Chocolate Rainnnnnnn! #7bitarcade
Facebook
Join the Facebook group and write:
I want to win heavy rain, Chocolate Rainnnnnnn! #7bitarcade
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The title is pretty self explanatory. Iconic music from iconic games. We all know em, and we all love (or hate) em. There have been so many amazing games with fantastic music over the years that this list was pretty hard to come up with. There are, of course, some no-brainers; but there are also more than a couple of spots that many of you might disagree with. There will be some inclusions and omissions that will no doubt spark debate and many calls of “hey jackass, you don’t know a damn thing about iconic video game music” from you lovely lovely readers.
I can only hope that your love for me is not ruined by any difference of opinions we may have. Especially you sexy console jockeys who may have missed a couple of the classics which never made it to a Nintendo, XBox or Playstation. PEACE!
Enjoy this run down of positions 10 to 6.
Popularity: 26% [?]
There are many games that can be called a timesink, a term that can be defined as follows.
“a game that you can play for hours and not realise the time”
Games that I am aware of the fall into this category are Infamous (hours go by running around zapping pedestrians), Borderlands, Mass Effect (o, it’s night time outside), Theme Park (I have no time for friends,i have to get rid of the rats in the rollercoaster); I think you get the picture.
Popularity: 23% [?]
What is this, there is a new podcast out.
OMGWOWHI and welcome to another episode of the famous 7 Bit Arcade. In this board game special, we recruit the help of board game connoiseur Christopher Boakes who shares his wry view on how video game could be turned into fully fledged board games. We wonder how the moderator on xbox live gets away with banning people, Stevie rants again and among other things, this podcast see’s the return of Eden who ignites proceedings with his dry banter and almost chaos inducing comments. All the usual features are in the bag as is the now famous ramble time, which includes Australia, Motion Control, Banning, Milo, Wrestling, Mass Effect 2, and more.
To celebrate that we have passed 1000 subscribers to the podcast, we are giving away Heavy Rain on the PS3. To take part, join the Facebook group, or follow us on Twitter and wait for further instructions. ;P
To subscribe to the podcast, click here
Popularity: 31% [?]
Firefly night is one of those charming games that is so simple that you find yourself instantly engrossed in it. I hope saying that it is simple is not offensive to Frozen Giant as the amount of time that goes into creating these games is huge.
There are fireflies on your screen that you have to touch and drag into the corresponding pots on the bottom of the screen and on contact they make a rather distinguishable noise. Each of the 40 levels has a set time limit, so the feel of urgency is present in getting your fireflies into their pots. Easy Non.
The game beings with a low count of fireflies that need to be put in the pots but as the levels increase, there are multiple colours of fireflies with each having a different number that you have to get into the pot. This simple looking game then takes a turn for the nasty as you are frantically trying to drag the fireflies correctly. A moment of possible frenzy occurs when you constantly keep getting the wrong firefly as you panic at the time limit. however grabbing the wrong firefly is not something the game has done wrong.
The touch based actions are perfect as through thorough testing, it was impossible to grab multiple fireflies with one touch. Also, instead of upping the ante so much by having too many fireflies on the screen, the game mechanics and level variation are clever enough to give you the correct firefly that you are aiming for.
The game is aimed towards those who have a small amount of time on their hands and the save feature really allows you to pop in and out of the game when you train journey is over.
Add to the strong gameplay mechanics the trusty Open Feint engine then you have a game that lasts as you try to collect the achievements.
59p/99c is a bargain and Firefly Night is a hidden gem in the ever growing iPhone App market.
Popularity: 2% [?]
February 15, 2010 • Retro Reviews • Comments • Written by Al
There is some significant excitement being generated in anticipation of Heavy Rain, a game that many here at 7Bit will be playing. Perhaps now then would be a good time for anyone else out there thinking of playing it to sample its spiritual prequel.
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Popularity: 49% [?]
“This is Ripley… er I mean Spanjj, last survivor of the AVP Multiplayer Demo, signing off.”
The AVP Multiplayer Demo is currently available on the PSN and XBox Live Marketplace. The full game is out in Europe on February 19th, with this in mind I put on my black and white shirt and my blue and brown hat and gave this demo a good banging.
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Games Press is very handy sometimes. News can be bland and every other site picks it up and outputs it faster than a cake being thrown at Katie Price, but sometimes there is a diamond in the rough. In this instance, the diamond was that Triangle Studios were giving away Heron: Steam Machine free for one weekend only. After tweeting, facebooking and talking(???) this out to the world, the game was on my phone ready for some investigative thinking.
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“Heads will roll!” – (Reviewed on The 7 Bit Audiocast Episode 4: Gamers Have Souls)
Apocalyptos is the latest release from Sudden Games and its all about the disembodied heads. We back track to the days of pyramids and human sacrifice (*sigh*, I miss those days) and the gods are in for a treat because people are being beheaded by the dozen. The heads are flying all over the place and its your job to bounce ‘em and spike ‘em in the series of mini games the game comprises of. That’s 40 OpenFeint enabled games with three difficulties for each… well, sort of.
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Popularity: 6% [?]
So, Spanjj and myself got the demo of sega all star racing. Here are our views in the first of our GameScans.
7 Bit Arcade does not condone the wearing of vests, especially if you are unable to pull it off and combine it with a Santa Hat.
Post us some video responses on your views of the demo!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Ratchet & Clank: Tool of Destruction can now be purchased in a shiny silver box which means it is a platinum edition and carries the price tag of £19.99 (sterling, pip pip pop pop). With the latest installment (A Crack In Time) available in shops and such, lets look at its predecessor and whether its still worth a good banging.
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February 8, 2010 • Retro Reviews • Comments • Written by admin
Hey all, glad you guys liked my top 10 must have games for the Dreamcast, thank you! I noticed you wanted more Dreamcast articles so here one is, a retro review of Chu Chu Rocket!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Attention Peons, there’s another 7Bit Audiocast ready to invade your eardrums. Its been a while, for which we can only apologise, so heres to hoping our latest gaming musings make up for this delayed little nugget. Kaplow!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Piracy is a big deal these days. Somalians have taken piracy to the next level by taking down boats and holding innocents for mass amounts of money. Pirates have recently been raiding our screens in the form of Johnny Deep’s swashbuckling ways. More soooo though, piracy of media is now on the rise so much that it has become a crime that brings with it a fine that is higher than GBH and Abduction. Only this week, did global hacker superstar George Hotz find a way to hack the PS3 so that it was possible play hacked games and also homebrew games. With all this in mind I want to take a look at piracy and how it is, or isn’t damaging the games market.
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Apologies for my absence last week gang (it’s OK, I know none of you really noticed, but don’t we all just want to be loved?), but I’m back now, and before I vanish into the hazy sleeplessness of a 48 hour Mass Effect 2 binge I found the time to share some thoughts on a totally different game.
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Whilst sitting on a sofa after a rather heavy evening, one would think that you should rest those weary grey cells and watch mind numbing tv. Instead, taking on the murders in Little Riddle seemed more enticing, however much it would cause us to curse the events of the night before.
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Playing thatgamecompany’s Flower got the cogs in my skull whirring. Nothing too profound, a mere question in fact.
“What the cock am I actually playing here?”
Try to categorize Flower and you might come up with a completely new genre of game. Some might call it a puzzler but if locating flowers constitutes as a conundrum then I should be getting achievement points for using the kettle in the morning. Read More…
Popularity: 2% [?]
Polarbit’s ‘Fuzzies’ is essentially Lemmings for the iPhone so before calling fowl it is worth noting the utterly disappointing ‘Lemmings Online’ currently available on the iTunes Store. This attempted remake did not meet our Lemming needs so Fuzzies makes a welcome addition to the fray. Read More…
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Gerbil, ah, generally a child’s first pet, so how does Pencil Games pay tribute to these small furry wonders? By sticking a bomb under their arse. Okay, don’t go calling PETA just yet, its all in the name of puzzling (plus its a game, and they will laugh down the phone at you, lets all avoid that embarrassment shall we?)!
Popularity: 6% [?]
The first thing you’ll notice about Candy Cane’s Fuzzle is it’s extreme lack of fuzzyness. It is about as hairy as a snake. I can only conclude that the name inherits from a combination of the words fun and puzzle and it is indeed a fun, puzzle game. Fuzzle is a turn based game that requires the player to move balls around the screen in order to line up five or more balls of the same colour and make them disappear. The aim of the game is to survive as long as possible before the screen is completely covered in balls. Read More…
Popularity: 3% [?]
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Never taking heed of numerical convention I approached this game not long after finishing Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. If anything should be taken from this instalment it is how well tuned Naughty Dog’s sequel is. However looking at the original as an isolated product it is still worth picking up. For those unfamiliar with the series you play as Nathan Drake, a cheeky treasure hunter of sorts, in a third person shooter/platformer reminiscent of the Indiana Jones franchise. Read More…
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“Flick it! Pull it! Twist it! Press it! Shake it!”
That might of sounded true of a certain ‘Bop It’ game we all know very well, at least until we get to the ‘press it’ part. Essentially ‘Do-It’ is Bop It for the iPhone with a couple of additions to the gameplay. Read More…
Popularity: 20% [?]
January 19, 2010 • Reviews • Comments • Written by Dan Renton
Steam is a wonderful thing. Valve’s digital distribution service lets you get your hands on all sorts of gems that you probably otherwise wouldn’t have discovered. Torchlight is one such treasure that occupied my time over Christmas ‘09.
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